its like the 3rd day after my prelims.and my mum has told at least 10 times tht i should nt treat it like hols and start mugging for As.i mean i can understand whr she's coming frm, but sometimes its juz gets so..i dno.i mean i really know wad she's saying is for my own gd.but u know the way she puts it is like my prelims ended 1 month ago and i've been slacking since then.but after so long im expecting tht she has some faith in me.do i look like the type who will slack and nt care about her studies?i know it myself.i may like to haf fun,watch tv and stuff,but in the end i will know when i hafta start working hard.but apparently she doesnt understand tht.and she juz keeps saying the same thing over and over agn.as if the more she says it the better i will be in my studies.i mean my mum is a great mum and i luv her and everything,but i guess she has tht naggy gene tht all mums haf.and i haf nvr been a rebellious kid.but nowadays i keep having this thought:the more she tell me to do something the more i dun feel like doing it.hahaha.okok.let me think positive.

my mum is saying all tht for my own gd.
i shud stop procrastinating and start mugging for As.
if i start early i will be less stress towards the end.
i muz be a gd gal and listen to my mum.
i slacked for 3 days alr.
i will regain my total freedom in less than 3 months.
studying will take my mind off things.
im working hard for my future.

yesyesyes.go me.

i shud stop yearning for a life.studying is my life.omgggg.

i realised i have abandoned my poor blog for almost 2 months.haha i guess i abandoned quite a lot of things these 2 months,thx to the all impt prelims.and i sort of din perform as well as i wanted myself to,despite all the trying-my-best-to-mug-as-hard-as-possible thingy.oh wells.sometimes i think i juz expect too much.whether it is studies,or other things tht i deem impt in my life.sometimes i wonder if i would be better off if i hadnt experienced those few moments,moments tht i took for granted after a while,moments tht made me feel tht i was quite blessed actually,moments tht left me expecting more.looking back,i realised those moments are,if u put it in chi, ke3 yu4 bu4 ke3 qiu2.sometimes i really dun understand.i guess there are some things tht i never will understand.from time to time i will convince myself tht im really a v blessed person,and its really stupid to keep harping on things tht make my life seem like a mess.it really isnt.im so much better off compared to many other ppl,so i shud really be contented.

haha its funny hw b4 the prelims i would always think of the day when prelims finally end,and how relieved and happy i would feel.but when its finally here,i realise im nt as relieved and happy as i expected myself to be.and im like so used to the routine of studying studying studying tht i dun really know wad to do wif the extra time i haf on my hands nw.and sometimes i dun really like the extra time.it gives my mind the chance to run wild,bringing up memories tht make my heart squish into a lump,imagining all the things tht may or may nt haf happened,all the what-ifs,pondering about all the unanswered questions,wondering hw things can juz take a 360 degree change overnight.over this period of time i made a new discovery.i realised heartache is not just a descriptive word,used when a person is feeling extremely hurt and upset.it really hurts.like the word ache suggests.i never knew.

omg i realised its like 1 am in the nite,and im supposed to be slping,and yet im writing all these emo crap.haha maybe cos i spent a major part of today reading an emo book.oh wells,i shall stop acting like an emo kid and go to bed nw.